Comic 018: The Joys Of Family
I must admit that this used to happen quite frequently at my parent's house. As the years have passed by, there has been less tackling from my youngest sister and more biting. I think this is partially due to the fact that lying in wait for that "perfect" time to strike has become exceptionally boring to her. Instead she merely walks up to me, waves a hello, and bites me on my shoulder.
In other unrelated news, this week is going to be another "Five Comic Week." I know I keep rehashing the "We've got a lot of material to get out there" bit, but it's true. I have also been able to work out a new style for the site that will be more "visually appealing" than before. Time will only tell.
During the interim, I have recently purchased "Borderlands" for the Xbox 360 and I am simply amazed at the amount of weaponry they have in that game. Gearbox simply did a great job with that game, and I can understand why Satchmo is excited about them working on "Duke Nukem Forever."
Yes, I understand that I am, perhaps, the last person to have ever purchased "Borderlands," but whenever someone recommends me to buy a game (or watch a movie) I become disinterested in it and do the opposite. I don't know why, but I find myself strongly resisting the urge to "become part of the pack" and instead avoid it like the plague. It is a bizarre behavior, but one that seems to have no sway over anything Transformers-like. Thank God.
-J.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Fable 3 Relationships
Comic 017: Fable 3 & Relationships
As we are busy airing out our dirty laundry, this comic, although outdated, exemplifies the wondrous world of Fable 3. It is in such a magical land that one can marry, raise a family, and contract STDs in a single bound (let alone parade within the castle's palisade dressed as a chicken). I, personally, have enjoyed every minute this game has had to offer, but I find it perplexing who whenever I'm in game with my wife and child that I constantly get hit on by whores. Needless to say, it has caused my wife to question the integrity of my actions. DAMN YOU, FILTHY WHORES! I can't help it if my character looks rather strapping with his platinum blonde hair and regal garb. I mean just because they are drawn to my character doesn't mean I did anything with them, right? RIGHT?!! Or maybe there was more to tell that time I blacked out in Bowerstone
...No...I must not...for in that way madness lies.
-J
As we are busy airing out our dirty laundry, this comic, although outdated, exemplifies the wondrous world of Fable 3. It is in such a magical land that one can marry, raise a family, and contract STDs in a single bound (let alone parade within the castle's palisade dressed as a chicken). I, personally, have enjoyed every minute this game has had to offer, but I find it perplexing who whenever I'm in game with my wife and child that I constantly get hit on by whores. Needless to say, it has caused my wife to question the integrity of my actions. DAMN YOU, FILTHY WHORES! I can't help it if my character looks rather strapping with his platinum blonde hair and regal garb. I mean just because they are drawn to my character doesn't mean I did anything with them, right? RIGHT?!! Or maybe there was more to tell that time I blacked out in Bowerstone
...No...I must not...for in that way madness lies.
-J
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Stereotypes
Comic 016: It's All In The Wrist
I've come to find that in Reach there are three groups of players: the Rational, the Irrational, and the Madmen. Now it should be made known these groupings are solely based upon the actions of the player rather than what the player is actually saying. If classes were based solely on dialogue, then we would have 35 different subsets in the classification of "Asshole" alone. Therefore, in order to simplify, I've narrowed it down to just three:
"The Rationalist" is a player who would not dare to throw himself against a tank without ample equipment. He/she (for the sake of argument) values every life as if it is sacred and knows the effectiveness of teamwork- a concept nonexistent in this game. Left to their own devices, the Rational player stays low, strikes only when necessary and tries to make every shot count.
"The Irrationalist" is a player who acts how a chimp might when given an Xbox controller. They twirl about at random and occasionally shoot an enemy, but mostly they tend to strike their own teammates. They are most often identified as "that asshole" that gets in the way of their teammate who grabbed the sniper rifle. To the uninformed, they might seem selfless and dogmatic, but the sniper rifle is their black obelisk and it calls out to their idolatrous nature. They must simply throw themselves at it with arms raised and emit cries of rapture a la "2001: A Space Odyssey."
The Madmen blow shit up. They'll blow you up. They want this world to be baptized in the cleansing flames of war. Enough said.
-J
I've come to find that in Reach there are three groups of players: the Rational, the Irrational, and the Madmen. Now it should be made known these groupings are solely based upon the actions of the player rather than what the player is actually saying. If classes were based solely on dialogue, then we would have 35 different subsets in the classification of "Asshole" alone. Therefore, in order to simplify, I've narrowed it down to just three:
"The Rationalist" is a player who would not dare to throw himself against a tank without ample equipment. He/she (for the sake of argument) values every life as if it is sacred and knows the effectiveness of teamwork- a concept nonexistent in this game. Left to their own devices, the Rational player stays low, strikes only when necessary and tries to make every shot count.
"The Irrationalist" is a player who acts how a chimp might when given an Xbox controller. They twirl about at random and occasionally shoot an enemy, but mostly they tend to strike their own teammates. They are most often identified as "that asshole" that gets in the way of their teammate who grabbed the sniper rifle. To the uninformed, they might seem selfless and dogmatic, but the sniper rifle is their black obelisk and it calls out to their idolatrous nature. They must simply throw themselves at it with arms raised and emit cries of rapture a la "2001: A Space Odyssey."
The Madmen blow shit up. They'll blow you up. They want this world to be baptized in the cleansing flames of war. Enough said.
-J
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Water Boarding.
Comic 015: Strange Greetings
This comic is not in the slightest way embellished. There actually is a video of Lucy and I getting "water boarded," and it was the first time we had ever met. I don't know why we decided that getting "water boarded" might be a good way to past the time, but ultimately I found myself with a bag over my head getting water
poured on my face while Derrick and Gaelen did the torturing. Call me a survivalist, but damn that was a good time!
-J
This comic is not in the slightest way embellished. There actually is a video of Lucy and I getting "water boarded," and it was the first time we had ever met. I don't know why we decided that getting "water boarded" might be a good way to past the time, but ultimately I found myself with a bag over my head getting water
poured on my face while Derrick and Gaelen did the torturing. Call me a survivalist, but damn that was a good time!
-J
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Addiction
Comic 010: Despair and Dissonance, Indeed!
I was addicted to this game for the longest time. Damn Item Drop Rates!!!
-J
I was addicted to this game for the longest time. Damn Item Drop Rates!!!
-J
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
F'cking Carmine.
In an effort to get caught up with the comics we've done so far, Punch the Grunt will be posting comics five days per week for the next two weeks. We have a lot of material to get out, and I fear the time-sensitive comics we have won't get out when they need to at a 3 comics per week schedule. So until then, you, the viewer, get a special treat.
"Reach Lesson #23" is the first in a series of unspoken rules that anyone who has played Halo: Reach would have etched firmly into their hearts and minds. Lesson 23 is the way of the Carmine. Simply put: It doesn't matter how much your genes are manipulated via Bioengineering. If you can't get the hell behind some cover, you're as good as dead. The Spartans are supposed to be the best of the best, men and women taken from their families as children and exposed to the harshest training environments imaginable. Since when do they
pull off a stunt that only befits a rookie Cog? Maybe Kat missed that day of training? C'est la vie!
-J
"Reach Lesson #23" is the first in a series of unspoken rules that anyone who has played Halo: Reach would have etched firmly into their hearts and minds. Lesson 23 is the way of the Carmine. Simply put: It doesn't matter how much your genes are manipulated via Bioengineering. If you can't get the hell behind some cover, you're as good as dead. The Spartans are supposed to be the best of the best, men and women taken from their families as children and exposed to the harshest training environments imaginable. Since when do they
pull off a stunt that only befits a rookie Cog? Maybe Kat missed that day of training? C'est la vie!
-J
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentines Day
Comic 008: Valentines Day Dos and Don'ts.
02-14-2011:
As much as I wanted to make a brochure for this Valentine's Day, I unfortunately did not have the time to design one. However, next year will be different, as Punch the Grunt will be designing its own "Grunt Puncher's Guide to Surviving Valentine's Day." A wonderful work of literature that will contain survival tips for the gaming enthusiast on how to navigate his way from the gaming console to her heart without missing that important raid or the latest clan match in Reach. Regardless, it should be an interesting tidbit to glance at (even if it gets reduced to bathroom-reading material).
As you can tell, today's comic is in color. We're through the looking glass now, people. In the next couple of weeks and/or months, I will be toying with a variety of coloring schemes to see what "fits" for this site. Honestly, I would have preferred to keep it in black and white, but I know that this format is far more appealing to the average reader- any and all suggestions would be welcomed.
-J
02-14-2011:
As much as I wanted to make a brochure for this Valentine's Day, I unfortunately did not have the time to design one. However, next year will be different, as Punch the Grunt will be designing its own "Grunt Puncher's Guide to Surviving Valentine's Day." A wonderful work of literature that will contain survival tips for the gaming enthusiast on how to navigate his way from the gaming console to her heart without missing that important raid or the latest clan match in Reach. Regardless, it should be an interesting tidbit to glance at (even if it gets reduced to bathroom-reading material).
As you can tell, today's comic is in color. We're through the looking glass now, people. In the next couple of weeks and/or months, I will be toying with a variety of coloring schemes to see what "fits" for this site. Honestly, I would have preferred to keep it in black and white, but I know that this format is far more appealing to the average reader- any and all suggestions would be welcomed.
-J
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Valentines
Comic 007: A Dying Breed
Punch the Grunt would like to tackle a growing concern about Valentine's Day. I would like all the male gamers for a second to turn around. Yes, that's right, please put down the controller and turn around. Do you see that woman all alone on the couch? Yes. Well, that is your girlfriend. In the past, she has agreed to be
involved in a relationship with you, not realizing that you have sold your soul to an electronic console. That is why on Valentine's day, or Dia de los muertos as the gaming community like to call it, we here at Punch the Grunt would like you to show her some attention. Remember all of your BS she put up with? Well, it's time for that patience to be rewarded. So suck it up, put on your jacket, and take her someplace nice (and by someplace nice, we don't mean the mountain ranges of Azeroth or the darkened corridors of the Spiral.
Just because you like those places doesn't mean she is a fan of them).
For those gamers who are completely lost, don't fret, because we have your back and hope to put out a "How to Survive Valentine's Day Guide" in the future.
-J
Punch the Grunt would like to tackle a growing concern about Valentine's Day. I would like all the male gamers for a second to turn around. Yes, that's right, please put down the controller and turn around. Do you see that woman all alone on the couch? Yes. Well, that is your girlfriend. In the past, she has agreed to be
involved in a relationship with you, not realizing that you have sold your soul to an electronic console. That is why on Valentine's day, or Dia de los muertos as the gaming community like to call it, we here at Punch the Grunt would like you to show her some attention. Remember all of your BS she put up with? Well, it's time for that patience to be rewarded. So suck it up, put on your jacket, and take her someplace nice (and by someplace nice, we don't mean the mountain ranges of Azeroth or the darkened corridors of the Spiral.
Just because you like those places doesn't mean she is a fan of them).
For those gamers who are completely lost, don't fret, because we have your back and hope to put out a "How to Survive Valentine's Day Guide" in the future.
-J
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Bayhem
Comic 005: OMFG!
I figured the words "Oh my F--king God" would suffice to describe
my initial reaction to the second Transformer's trailer. Those people
at ILM and Paramount certainly know how to bring the house down
when it comes to thirty seconds of all out "Bayhem." God damn
that was so good that I felt like I needed a cigarette afterward,
and I don't even smoke!
On a serious note, I can't write enough just how excited I am to see
the last Transformers movie when it comes out. I have, as with all
my friends and family, been a huge Transformers fan since the days
of Generation 1. I sobbed when my hero, Prime, died in the 80's
cartoon movie, and I found my childhood restored when I saw him
transform for the first time in Michael Bay's 2007 live action one.
Although I was a little disappointed with the direction taken in the
second film, I've come to appreciate Bay's direction and I hope this
time they'll get it right to bring the series to a respectable close.
I just hope they don't kill Prime in this one like they did the second.
My heart can only take so much.
-J
I figured the words "Oh my F--king God" would suffice to describe
my initial reaction to the second Transformer's trailer. Those people
at ILM and Paramount certainly know how to bring the house down
when it comes to thirty seconds of all out "Bayhem." God damn
that was so good that I felt like I needed a cigarette afterward,
and I don't even smoke!
On a serious note, I can't write enough just how excited I am to see
the last Transformers movie when it comes out. I have, as with all
my friends and family, been a huge Transformers fan since the days
of Generation 1. I sobbed when my hero, Prime, died in the 80's
cartoon movie, and I found my childhood restored when I saw him
transform for the first time in Michael Bay's 2007 live action one.
Although I was a little disappointed with the direction taken in the
second film, I've come to appreciate Bay's direction and I hope this
time they'll get it right to bring the series to a respectable close.
I just hope they don't kill Prime in this one like they did the second.
My heart can only take so much.
-J
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Welcome, Grunt Punchers.
Comic 001: Prime Stomp
I must say that I am very excited to have this site up running again and to be able to do it with a bunch of friends who equally share in my enthusiasm is exciting nonetheless. For those of you who have never heard of us, Punch the Grunt is an online comic detailing the crazy antics of a group of gamers growing up in little ol' Jersey. What you'll find in the story arcs to be are the insane behavior of what can only be cataloged as the depraved and the damned; a concoction of ridicule, shame, robots, and flare guns rising to an abrupt crescendo only to be brought back down to earth by the asinine antics of a group raised by Saturday Morning cartoons and a bunch of deranged alcoholics (Dad this one's for you ;-).
My part in the chaos to follow is as the writer and illustrator. Although I do not fancy myself an artist, I am a lover of art, and it has been something I have dabbled in from time to time. When I was eight, I remember my father asking me, "John, when you're in Prison what are you going to do to entertain yourself?" From that
day I decided that instead of relying upon other things to captivate my interest, I'll find ways to do that myself. And so I have. This website is, as my therapist might add, the first fruits of that long winter which was my childhood. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you might contact your lawyer to sue us for defamation of character, but
hopefully you'll come back next time to punch that grunt again.
-J
I must say that I am very excited to have this site up running again and to be able to do it with a bunch of friends who equally share in my enthusiasm is exciting nonetheless. For those of you who have never heard of us, Punch the Grunt is an online comic detailing the crazy antics of a group of gamers growing up in little ol' Jersey. What you'll find in the story arcs to be are the insane behavior of what can only be cataloged as the depraved and the damned; a concoction of ridicule, shame, robots, and flare guns rising to an abrupt crescendo only to be brought back down to earth by the asinine antics of a group raised by Saturday Morning cartoons and a bunch of deranged alcoholics (Dad this one's for you ;-).
My part in the chaos to follow is as the writer and illustrator. Although I do not fancy myself an artist, I am a lover of art, and it has been something I have dabbled in from time to time. When I was eight, I remember my father asking me, "John, when you're in Prison what are you going to do to entertain yourself?" From that
day I decided that instead of relying upon other things to captivate my interest, I'll find ways to do that myself. And so I have. This website is, as my therapist might add, the first fruits of that long winter which was my childhood. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you might contact your lawyer to sue us for defamation of character, but
hopefully you'll come back next time to punch that grunt again.
-J
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