One Track Mind

Comic 047 - Intervention

I've just come to the conclusion that Dark of the Moon is the greatest movie of all time.


-J

Drawn Early.

Comic 046 - Because Two Is Better Than One

This comic was drawn before the movie came out, and it was when Sentinel Prime was announced to be featured alongside Optimus. Needless to say, if I knew Sentinel's real purpose  at the time, I wouldn't have drawn this, but it is what it is.

I will probably be doing a special transformer's movie comic feature the last scene in the film with Optimus, Megatron, and Sentinel, because it was so fucking EPIC!!!

I have read a lot of critics bash this movie, but to be honest they have become so estranged from what the public wants that you almost feel sorry for them.

I have also read various fan reactions, and it makes me so happy to see so many people love this movie and lift it up as the best in the trilogy.

Also, Optimus Prime is the ultimate badass.  You don't fuck with him...period!

-J

Transformers III Review

Comic XXX-Transformers Sketch Now Available

Best Movie Ever. This was the ending the series truly deserved. Michael Bay and company outdid themselves. Go see this movie! It is a thousand times better than the first one and a million times better than the second. This is an amazing movie, and I will continue to see it again and again and again and again!

-J

Things Often Left Unsaid

Comic 043: Things Often Left Unsaid

    And there you have it.  The long winded explanations and machinations of a twisted mind are over, and I am very happy to be finally done with our very first story arc.  Yes, it was a little drawn out at times, but life is far from simple and always likes to toss in its own little "twists and turns."  Oddly enough, the whole affair drawn before you, minus the part where the demon gets hit with a truck, was loosely based on a true story.  Now, when I mean loosely, I do not mean Texas Chainsaw Massacre based on Ed Gein loosely, but I mean Silence of the Lambs' Buffalo Bill based on Ed Gein loosely.  In other words:  the dresser, the tuna, and the evil of the garage are all true. The child abuse and neglect...not so much.
    In other, unrelated but somewhat related news, we will have a couple of extra comics coming your way followed by another story arc featuring the ever fearless Satchmo.  This will be a mighty undertaking by the staff of Punch the Grunt, but it will be a worthy endeavor nonetheless.
    I would also like to take the time to welcome our new colorist, Aimee Hurford, who has taken the time to clean up my sloppy attempts at being an artist.  Her contributions to the site have really helped to brighten up its appearance and add new life to the comics we are currently posting.  So, I for one, would like to thank you, Aimee, for all of the hard work you have been doing for this site.
    I had something else insightful to say, but I forgot what it was.

Later,
-J

For The Curious

Comic 028: Enter The Demon

No, I did not hit the Demon with my Truck. If I did, the vehicle
would be totaled. Yes, the Demon's head is reinforced with a
beryllium, nickel, and titanium alloy which can withstand well over
200,000 psi. In other words, it's more durable than an Abrahms
tank!

-J

Life Expectancy

Comic 027: Stronger Than Your Average Bear

Yes!!!!  A Carmine is finally going to live through this game. It's about damn time!

-J

Japan Relief

Comic 026: Continuing Guilt

Greetings fellow Grunt Punchers,

Usually I would start the week by writing a diatribe or two about something that really pisses me off.  Instead, I find my effort centered on the tragedy that has befallen Japan. My heart goes out to those people stuck without food, water, and electricity, and I pray some sort of relief effort makes it out to their way soon.

P.S. The video game referenced above is pretty f--ked up too.

-J

Love Taps

Comic 025: Love Taps

The day of rest and cookies...AND CAKE!!!

I don't know what relevance this has with anything, but I was watching "Sparticus: Gods of the Arena" and I really wanted to do a comic like this. Personal note: The webmaster and I would actually come at each other with wooden swords. It was fun until he struck me in the knee and sent me reeling to the ground.

Ah, memories...how I miss those days.

-J

The Plot Thickens!!

Comic 024: Milla Vanilla II

Duh Duh DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Dum-dum-da-dum!

-J

A Felicitous Tuesday!

Comic 023: Milla Vanilla

This is Derrick's absurd logic, rather far-fetched from his ordinary circumlocutions. Although his arguments usually parallel with his pragmatic nature, this one bordered on the surreal. It was a rather unusual moment for me, because I could not fathom the abstruse meaning of his words. Even when he tried to break it down, I felt
like I needed a drawing board, charts, and a power point presentation in order to grasp its meaning. Needless to say, that was what was done. I sincerely believe Derrick's interpretation of the human language has been reduced to such a level that it has become an idiom to him and him alone, for not even the other people in the house understood.

-J

The Day Is Ours!

Comic 022: On Deaf Ears

Jenna has the mindset of a typical Texan when it comes to video games: She wants to blow shit up and blow it up again. I, on the other hand, enjoy a good story when one is presented...or at least try to anyway. Needless to say, playing Halo: Reach together was not the wisest of ideas. Don't get me wrong, she is an excellent player, but every time

[SPOILER ALERT]

a member of Noble team died she gave out a sigh of relief, for it meant there was one less person to annoy her. The story, in her mind, was an unwanted distraction from the bigger picture: Blowing shit up. It is at this point that I reference the reader to "It's All In The Wrists," because clearly my girlfriend falls into the "Madmen" category. God, I love her!!!

-J

Fucking Snowboarders.

Comic 021: Le Douche

The week is almost over my friends!

Again, forgive the artwork for I also did this while I was on vacation. I must admit that I actually did quite well for my first time skiing. What initially started as a "balls to the wall" drop that landed me face first into a snow drift eventually turned into someone who could handle Intermediate hills with the greatest of ease. Somewhere
along that interim, I discovered how to stop falling and how to actually start skiing. The only thing that agitated me were those "God Damn Snowboarders!" These kids, would just stop in the middle of a slope and sit down. What the hell is that @#$%? Near the end of our stay, I became convinced that these people were probably getting paid by the skiing resort to act as obstacles...because that was all they f---ing were!!! RAGE!!!

Ok, I'm done.

-J

Hump Day

Comic 020: Cartoons & Conundrums


Hump Day is yet upon us!

Forgive the artwork, I actually drew this while in a truck en route to the Poconos. This conversation did actually happen. It is a conspiracy I tell you! A CONSPIRACY!!!

-J

Happy Monday To All!

Comic 018: The Joys Of Family

I must admit that this used to happen quite frequently at my parent's house. As the years have passed by, there has been less tackling from my youngest sister and more biting. I think this is partially due to the fact that lying in wait for that "perfect" time to strike has become exceptionally boring to her. Instead she merely walks up to me, waves a hello, and bites me on my shoulder.

In other unrelated news, this week is going to be another "Five Comic Week." I know I keep rehashing the "We've got a lot of material to get out there" bit, but it's true. I have also been able to work out a new style for the site that will be more "visually appealing" than before. Time will only tell.

During the interim, I have recently purchased "Borderlands" for the Xbox 360 and I am simply amazed at the amount of weaponry they have in that game. Gearbox simply did a great job with that game, and I can understand why Satchmo is excited about them working on "Duke Nukem Forever."

Yes, I understand that I am, perhaps, the last person to have ever purchased "Borderlands," but whenever someone recommends me to buy a game (or watch a movie) I become disinterested in it and do the opposite. I don't know why, but I find myself strongly resisting the urge to "become part of the pack" and instead avoid it like the plague. It is a bizarre behavior, but one that seems to have no sway over anything Transformers-like. Thank God.

-J.

Fable 3 Relationships

Comic 017: Fable 3 & Relationships

As we are busy airing out our dirty laundry, this comic, although outdated, exemplifies the wondrous world of Fable 3. It is in such a magical land that one can marry, raise a family, and contract STDs in a single bound (let alone parade within the castle's palisade dressed as a chicken). I, personally, have enjoyed every minute this game has had to offer, but I find it perplexing who whenever I'm in game with my wife and child that I constantly get hit on by whores. Needless to say, it has caused my wife to question the integrity of my actions. DAMN YOU, FILTHY WHORES! I can't help it if my character looks rather strapping with his platinum blonde hair and regal garb. I mean just because they are drawn to my character doesn't mean I did anything with them, right? RIGHT?!! Or maybe there was more to tell that time I blacked out in Bowerstone

...No...I must not...for in that way madness lies.

-J

Stereotypes

Comic 016: It's All In The Wrist

I've come to find that in Reach there are three groups of players: the Rational, the Irrational, and the Madmen. Now it should be made known these groupings are solely based upon the actions of the player rather than what the player is actually saying. If classes were based solely on dialogue, then we would have 35 different subsets in the classification of "Asshole" alone. Therefore, in order to simplify, I've narrowed it down to just three:

"The Rationalist" is a player who would not dare to throw himself against a tank without ample equipment.  He/she (for the sake of argument) values every life as if it is sacred and knows the effectiveness of teamwork- a concept nonexistent in this game. Left to their own devices, the Rational player stays low, strikes only when necessary and tries to make every shot count.

"The Irrationalist" is a player who acts how a chimp might when given an Xbox controller. They twirl about at random and  occasionally shoot an enemy, but mostly they tend to strike their own teammates. They are most often identified as "that asshole" that gets in the way of their teammate who grabbed the sniper rifle. To the uninformed, they might seem selfless and dogmatic, but the sniper rifle is their black obelisk and it calls out to their idolatrous nature. They must simply throw themselves at it with arms raised and emit cries of rapture a la "2001:  A Space Odyssey."

The Madmen blow shit up. They'll blow you up. They want this world to be baptized in the cleansing flames of war. Enough said.

-J

Water Boarding.

Comic 015: Strange Greetings

This comic is not in the slightest way embellished. There actually is a video of Lucy and I getting "water boarded," and it was the first time we had ever met. I don't know why we decided that getting "water boarded" might be a good way to past the time, but ultimately I found myself with a bag over my head getting water
poured on my face while Derrick and Gaelen did the torturing. Call me a survivalist, but damn that was a good time!

-J

Redundancy

Comic 011: Just Keep Trolling

I repeat: GOD DAMN ITEM DROP RATES!!!!!!!!!!!!

-J

Addiction

Comic 010: Despair and Dissonance, Indeed!

I was addicted to this game for the longest time. Damn Item Drop Rates!!!

-J

F'cking Carmine.

In an effort to get caught up with the comics we've done so far, Punch the Grunt will be posting comics five days per week for the next two weeks. We have a lot of material to get out, and I fear the time-sensitive comics we have won't get out when they need to at a 3 comics per week schedule. So until then, you, the viewer, get a special treat.

"Reach Lesson #23" is the first in a series of unspoken rules that anyone who has played Halo: Reach would have etched firmly into their hearts and minds. Lesson 23 is the way of the Carmine. Simply put: It doesn't matter how much your genes are manipulated via Bioengineering. If you can't get the hell behind some cover, you're as good as dead. The Spartans are supposed to be the best of the best, men and women taken from their families as children and exposed to the harshest training environments imaginable. Since when do they
pull off a stunt that only befits a rookie Cog? Maybe Kat missed that day of training? C'est la vie!

-J

Valentines Day

Comic 008: Valentines Day Dos and Don'ts.

02-14-2011:


As much as I wanted to make a brochure for this Valentine's Day, I unfortunately did not have the time to design one. However, next year will be different, as Punch the Grunt will be designing its own "Grunt Puncher's Guide to Surviving Valentine's Day." A wonderful work of literature that will contain survival tips for the gaming enthusiast on how to navigate his way from the gaming console to her heart without missing that important raid or the latest clan match in Reach. Regardless, it should be an interesting tidbit to glance at (even if it gets reduced to bathroom-reading material).

As you can tell, today's comic is in color.  We're through the looking glass now, people.  In the next couple of weeks and/or months, I will be toying with a variety of coloring schemes to see what "fits" for this site.  Honestly, I would have preferred to keep it in black and white, but I know that this format is far more appealing to the average reader- any and all suggestions would be welcomed.

-J

Valentines

Comic 007: A Dying Breed

Punch the Grunt would like to tackle a growing concern about Valentine's Day. I would like all the male gamers for a second to turn around. Yes, that's right, please put down the controller and turn around. Do you see that woman all alone on the couch?  Yes. Well, that is your girlfriend. In the past, she has agreed to be
involved in a relationship with you, not realizing that you have sold your soul to an electronic console. That is why on Valentine's day, or Dia de los muertos as the gaming community like to call it, we here at Punch the Grunt would like you to show her some attention. Remember all of your BS she put up with? Well, it's time for that patience to be rewarded. So suck it up, put on your jacket, and take her someplace nice (and by someplace nice, we don't mean the mountain ranges of Azeroth or the darkened corridors of the Spiral.
Just because you like those places doesn't mean she is a fan of them).

For those gamers who are completely lost, don't fret, because we have your back and hope to put out a "How to Survive Valentine's Day Guide" in the future.

-J

Great Expectations

Comic 006: Great Expectations

All I have to say is: God bless the men and women of Detroit.

-J

Bayhem

Comic 005: OMFG!

I figured the words "Oh my F--king God" would suffice to describe
my initial reaction to the second Transformer's trailer. Those people
at ILM and Paramount certainly know how to bring the house down
when it comes to thirty seconds of all out "Bayhem." God damn
that was so good that I felt like I needed a cigarette afterward,
and I don't even smoke!

On a serious note, I can't write enough just how excited I am to see
the last Transformers movie when it comes out. I have, as with all
my friends and family, been a huge Transformers fan since the days
of Generation 1. I sobbed when my hero, Prime, died in the 80's
cartoon movie, and I found my childhood restored when I saw him
transform for the first time in Michael Bay's 2007 live action one.
Although I was a little disappointed with the direction taken in the
second film, I've come to appreciate Bay's direction and I hope this
time they'll get it right to bring the series to a respectable close.
I just hope they don't kill Prime in this one like they did the second.
My heart can only take so much.

-J

I Can't Fight This Feeling

Comic 002: I Can't Fight This Feeling

This actually happened. I was there. I saw it all.

-J

Welcome, Grunt Punchers.

Comic 001: Prime Stomp

I must say that I am very excited to have this site up running again and to be able to do it with a bunch of friends who equally share in my enthusiasm is exciting nonetheless. For those of you who have never heard of us, Punch the Grunt is an online comic detailing the crazy antics of a group of gamers growing up in little ol' Jersey. What you'll find in the story arcs to be are the insane behavior of what can only be cataloged as the depraved and the damned; a concoction of ridicule, shame, robots, and flare guns rising to an abrupt crescendo only to be brought back down to earth by the asinine antics of a group raised by Saturday Morning cartoons and a bunch of deranged alcoholics (Dad this one's for you ;-).

My part in the chaos to follow is as the writer and illustrator. Although I do not fancy myself an artist, I am a lover of art, and it has been something I have dabbled in from time to time. When I was eight, I remember my father asking me, "John, when you're in Prison what are you going to do to entertain yourself?" From that
day I decided that instead of relying upon other things to captivate my interest, I'll find ways to do that myself. And so I have. This website is, as my therapist might add, the first fruits of that long winter which was my childhood. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you might contact your lawyer to sue us for defamation of character, but
hopefully you'll come back next time to punch that grunt again.

-J